Then He turned to the heaven while it was smoke and said to it and to the earth, “Come willingly or unwillingly!” They said, “We come willingly.” – Qur’an 41:11
Cutting through the noise
The entire universe bows down to Allah, with complete unending obedience to Allah’s supreme Command. Rays of light travel only at their lawful speed. Raindrops fall only at the decreed moment. And the wind blows only by permission of your Lord. Even the tiniest speck of dust in the cosmos is accounted for and unwilling to act contrary to the laws of Allah, even for the blink of an eye. Absolute, perfect submission.
And then, there is you.
And me. And us.
We human beings tend to be half-willing and half-unwilling, to live a life of total obedience to Allah. Always on the edge of remembering that this life is only temporary. Hasty. Ever distracted.
While we are certainly subject to the laws of nature, by Allah’s grace we have a level of mastery over them. Defying gravity with our aeroplanes. Breathing underwater. Irrigating deserts. Splitting atoms.
Our fate is in Allah’s hands, but we, unlike the rest of creation, possess conscious free will. And this creative consciousness is at once our greatest gift and, of course, our ultimate challenge. A divine gift that has the potential to lift us into the Garden, Jannah, sink us into the depths of hell, or trap us somewhere in the A’raf in the middle.
Our human rules on earth are fluid and bendy, constantly negotiated, constructed and reconstructed to align with our philosophies about life, truth and meaning. We have the Qur’an, but we are given the challenge of interpreting it. We have the example of our Prophet (pbuh), but we have the struggle of applying it.
Unlike a tree, or a cow, who lives in perfect, peaceful, submission to Allah’s sovereignty, our life is a constant negotiation between truth and deception, need and desire, sacrifice and greed, ego and selflessness, love and hate, rebellion and submission.
Constant action means constant reaction.
…So of course we struggle with our mental health. How could we not?
No matter how strong we believe our faith is (or isn’t), as social creatures our view of reality is entirely context-dependent, and shaped by our companions.
That soul-shaking moment when a prayer is on our lips and we feel like Allah Most High (the only objective reality) is listening, can give way pretty swiftly to feelings of anxiety, doubt, fatigue or distraction:
What if… When will… How does… Who can… But why is… If not, then… Did it really…
And sometimes, when all the noise of life is louder than our soul can take, we need a little timeout, to help us re-find our centre.
Is silence good for your mental health? Seclusion and Surah Maryam
In the Qur’an, the heart-wrenchingly beautiful Surah Maryam draws our attention to the role of silence and seclusion in times of intense anticipation, difficulty, or in the wake of life-changing events.
Prophet Zakariya’s (pbuh) desperate dua for a child is answered, and he is met with a sign:
[Zakariya] said, “My Lord, make for me a sign.” He said, “Your sign is that you will not speak to the people for three nights, [being] sound.” — Qur’an 19:10
A three day fast of silence to honour the gravity of the occasion. Take a moment to think about why that might be?
Reverence, awe, humility, clarity, remembrance, focus, trust, avoiding doubt or negative influences, clearing out space in one’s heart and mind for the fullest possible level of gratitude and submission? What does your heart tell you about this sign?
And later in the surah, we witness Maryam (ra) withdrawing from her people as an act of self-preservation before being visited by the angel Jibreel. And then she isolates herself even further until we witness her in her most wretched state.
After giving birth to baby Isa (pbuh) she returns to her people, an unmarried woman who will face the gossip and outrage of her community. Allah send instructions to her:
“So eat and drink and be consoled. And if you see from among humanity anyone, say, “Indeed, I have vowed a fast to the Most Merciful, so I will not speak today to any human being.”” — Qur’an 19:26
Maryam (ra) knows she doesn’t have to defend herself – Allah is with her. And the newborn Prophet Isa (pbuh) in her arms miraculously speaks to prove her innocence.
How do the people react to this miracle? We do not find out. Allah draws a veil, surely reminding us that life is not about what other people think. It is enough to know what you believe. It is enough to know that Allah is with you, and your miracle will happen inshallah, regardless of whether people see, or acknowledge, what you know to be true in your heart.
For an in-depth look at these (and many other) lessons we can draw from Surah Maryam, this is a fascinating and illuminating, must-watch tafsir from Shaykh Khaled Abou El Fadl:
The power of silence
Sometimes we’re not even aware that other people’s energy has taken us over, or might be derailing us from our path. It’s ok to take a breather and switch off from the daily grind for a short time. And fasting with your tongue, even if we cannot physically get away from society or family, is one of the biggest shortcuts to doing so.
We might recall elsewhere in the Qur’an Prophet Musa’s withdrawal to speak with Allah alone on the mountain for forty nights. And when we remember our Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) spending long periods of time alone in cave Hira in deep contemplation and worship, it starts to feel like a necessary step in our spiritual evolution.
That’s because healthy and positive seclusion/silence is not about disconnecting from the people in your life and cutting ties, or about giving up and hiding away. It is about reconnecting with yourself and with Allah by realising you don’t have to justify yourself, your likes/dislikes or your choices to anyone but Allah.
When you turn down the volume of other people, you turn your own volume up:
You don’t have to react to anyone.
You don’t have to chase after love, attention or affection.
You don’t need to fight to be heard – Allah is always with you, listening.
You are allowed to let yourself just be.
You’re doing ok, actually.
You’re allowed to feel the joyful anticipation that Allah is sending something beautiful your way – even if you have no idea what it might be – and enjoy that feeling without anyone telling you otherwise. Even if it sounds silly.
You’re allowed to feel the fullness of your repentance, and that your pleas for forgiveness are being generously received.
You’re allowed to feel like you have a chance to reset.
By creating a small window of silence and solitude you can make way for conversation and company with Allah – particularly at times that feel pivotal, where you’re going through (or perhaps would like to be going through) big changes in your life.
Silence is golden when it is filled with trust in Allah.
What might a three day ‘spiritual silence’ look like for you?
A complete and total retreat from the world usually isn’t feasible – we still have to show up to work/school, and we might have kids or commitments. But perhaps a period of intentional silence, or noise reduction, might look something like this:
- avoiding all forms of social media and news
- replying to non-urgent messages with, “I’m busy at the moment, but I’ll get back to you in a few days time,” (rather than causing upset or worry through ghosting)
- not seeking approval, opinions or advice from anyone but Allah
- avoiding all unnecessary company and conversation unless it is a form of charity (e.g. kindness to your neighbour, showing interest in a family member’s achievements etc)
- untangling yourself from conversations that lead you nowhere
- not giving anyone the opportunity to force your attention onto their petty obsessions
- shielding your energy from being channelled into directions without your conscious and considered consent, through dhikr, meditation, dua, and performing tasks that fulfil your personal needs.
During this time try to maintain enough silence to hear those unvoiced prayers hidden in your heart.
Withdraw from people as much as you are able in order to notice all the tiny signs Allah is sending you – they’re everywhere – inside and out.
And make space to listen to that little voice that tells you hey it’s going to be ok, remember that pact you made with Allah – the same One who planted the trees, filled the seas and lit up the sky with stars – who is truer to their pact than Allah?
Taking a silent break doesn’t mean do nothing!
There are different types of rest. And yes, if you need physical rest, then let yourself rest! But a spiritual silence or withdrawal from ‘the world’ doesn’t necessarily mean lounging about. In fact, staying active can help you get your thoughts in order, give you focus, and put you in a more positive frame of mind.
Try taking three ‘silent’ days (or more or fewer as suits your need and lifestyle) to get every boring, mundane task off your to-do list, so that when you emerge from your timeout you have nothing burdensome still hovering over your head.
These could be things like:
- Sort out those fiddly DIY tasks that you never seem to get round to
- Clean and organise your living space or garden if you have one
- Give away some clothes you never wear
- Do the ironing
Emerge from your retreat feeling like you have achieved useful things, and you’re ready for whatever is coming next!
Spiritual silence and seclusion is about love of Allah, not fear of people
Taking intentional ‘mental health days’ away from the confused and chaotic energy of the world can be a powerful act of self-preservation. And finding your way back to Allah is an act of loving obedience.
Every butterfly must spend time in a cocoon. But remember, it doesn’t stay in there forever. Just long enough to find its wings and fly.
Trust your instincts, and come to Allah willingly.
“The stars and the trees bow down in submission” — Qur’an 55:6
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