“Then He fashioned him in due proportion, and breathed into him of His spirit.” – Qur’an 32:9
Your spirituality and mental health go hand in hand.
‘Spirituality’ is another way of describing how you access the part of you that manifests truth, beauty, goodness and pure love.
Like the current of a river flowing to the sea, a spiritual practice, or a spiritual path, will lead you towards finding your purpose, life’s meaning and peace.
If you sincerely want to access a deep and powerful connection with Allah and His attributes, the door is open, so expect miracles…
“for them awaits a known provision; fruits; and they will be honoured. In gardens of Bliss…” — Qur’an 37:44
“O Allah, place light in my heart and light on my tongue. Place light in my hearing and light in my seeing. Place light behind me and light in front of me. Place light above me and light below me. O Allah, grant me light!” — Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Seven keys to spiritual growth
This page will explore eight crucial pillars of spirituality from an Islamic perspective:
- Expand your capacity for love – how do you define, give and receive love? What is blocking your love?
- Sincerity and open-mindedness – what’s your humility score? Can you recognise your biggest insincerity traits?
- Gratitude – are you as grateful as you say you are? How can you level up?
- Boundaries – good person vs pushover, or boundaried vs selfish?
- Sacrifice and patience – do you know your limits and how will you test them?
- Turn belief into action – is your faith passive or active?
- Consistency and discipline – what’s actually holding you back from achieving?
“It helps me to remember that there are as many routes to Allah as there are people on this earth. My journey to Allah will look different to yours, because I’m not you.”
“If faith is like oxygen, and Islam is the heartbeat, then spirituality is our breath.”
1. Expand Your Capacity for Love
“You will not enter Paradise until you have faith and you will not have faith until you love each other. Shall I show you something that, if you did, you would love each other? Spread peace between yourselves.” – Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Love is the most natural thing in the world. You were born to share your love, and to be loved. It is that simple… and also it isn’t.
Many of us believe love is something we have to chase after, and that the only way we can be loved is by pleasing other people even if it hurts us. But these are things we can unlearn.
How deep is your love?
There’s a popular saying: you can only love others as deeply as you love yourself. And according to Al-Ghazali (and so many other spiritual masters), the highest spiritual pleasure is love of God. But one cannot reach the highest level of loving God, without first knowing and loving oneself.
A spiritual practice should help you to understand and love your true self, not help you escape from your true self. Otherwise a spiritual practice can function similar to an addiction – a way to escape reality and mask pain and avoid confronting the things that are really going on inside.
We all carry emotional wounds from different events in our lives – that’s normal. When a particular emotion or negative pattern of circumstances keeps showing up, it can be the sign of a wound you need to heal. Unmasking unhealthy beliefs, patterns and behaviours can drastically affect how you perceive, give and receive love across all your relationships, including your relationship with God.
- Find mental health resources that can help
- Tips for staring your self-help journey
- Tips on dealing with difficult emotions
Four ingredients of love
To love a thing, first we must (1) witness it. To love this thing more deeply we must give it our (2) time and attention. The more we learn about and (3) understand the thing, the deeper we can (4) appreciate it, and so our love increases.
This applies to your relationship with yourself, your partner, your friends, and with Allah. The depth of your love will be proportionate to your effort.
“Learning to accept (or you could say un-learning to reject) the messy, complicated, uncomfortable parts of me felt wildly liberating. Once I embraced them I could work with them, instead of wasting my energy fighting against them. It also helped me to love the wild and messy parts of others instead of judging them.”
“Investing in yourself is an act of love. But also defiance against everything and everyone who ever taught you not to be true to yourself. It’s love for the sake of love, not for the sake of gain. It’s my spiritual rebellion. I’ve heard people call it ‘radical love’ and I love it!”
Different types and levels of love:
- Laith loves the mountain by reading about it.
- Oz loves the mountain by looking at it in the distance from his balcony.
- Violet loves the mountain by travelling through it and feeling close to it.
- Elias loves the mountain by collecting and studying its natural resources.
- Ruhana loves the mountain by climbing to the top of it, despite the challenges.
- Salma loves the mountain by leading the conservation effort to protect it from pollution and damage by governments and corporations.
Each has their own loving connection with the mountain. But each has made a different level of effort and commitment to manifesting this love in their lives.
“None of you truly believes until he loves for his brother what he loves for himself.” – Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Exercise: How do you manifest love?
Think about who and what you love. How do you demonstrate this love in your daily life? What is the relationship between your feelings and actions? Try to think of at least three things for each.
- How do you love your body?
- How do you love your life?
- How much do you love the poor, the weak, and the marginalised?
- How do you love God?
- How do you want people to love you?
- How do you want God to love you?
2. Sincerity and open-mindedness
“(Iblis [satan]) said: “O my Lord! because Thou have put me in the wrong, I will make (evil) attractive to them on the earth, and I will mislead all of them, except your sincere servants” – Qur’an 15:39-40
As a human being, it’s not wrong to have an ego! But what’s important is to recognise and manage it. We can only do this when we are motivated by a genuine desure to connect with Allah.
Any spiritual journey requires you to constantly check and purify your intentions. You’re only human, and the devil is always looking to exploit your desires, hopes and dreams to turn you away from your path. Remember insincerity opens the doorway to evil, and can make wrong or bad things seem fair to us.
“Sincerity is a secret between Allah and His servant which not even the angels know so as to record it, nor does Satan know so as to corrupt it, nor is the desire aware so as to influence it.” — Junayd al-Baghdadi (d.910)
Recognising insincerity
Are you sincere?
Often insincerity can creep in when we least expect it, and often it can be difficult to detect. Here are some examples – take a moment to reflect on how many you have experienced in the last two weeks:
- The urge to show off, be praised or admired
- The belief that you already know how events will unfold if you take a certain action
- The urge to put someone down
- The belief that something/someone has power over our destiny, instead of God
- Fearing what people will think of you, or what they will do to you
- Taking a slightly less principled approach (or pretending not to notice something bad), either to avoid discomfort, or for personal gain
- Dismissing lessons, repeated signs and advice that don’t match up with your personal desires
- Changing your speech or behaviour (whether positively or negatively) based on who is watching you
- Ignoring a very easy opportunity to do something good
Beware ‘spiritual teachers’ who seem flashy, boastful, talk a lot about money, and/or fail to accept that there are different points of view. And also beware of spiritual teachers who praise you excessively. A spiritual master will radiate sincerity and humility without ever showing off about it.
An open mind needs humility
How many Islamic Q&A forums or comments under ‘Islamic’ reels have you seen where people argue their point of view as though they are about to draw swords and fight jihad over it?
In the Qur’an, Allah invites us over and over again to reflect on the world around us – at the diversity, beauty, the balance, interconnectedness woven into creation. Everything in creation has something to teach us, if only we have hearts humble enough to learn. So time to stop arguing, and listen. Appreciate the myriad of ways we all see and move through the world.
A spiritual seeker must leave snap judgements behind and get comfortable with grey areas and uncertainty. We have to be more ready and willing to say “I’m sorry I was wrong”, than we are to say, “I told you so”.
The more you know, the more you realise you do not know.
“The two seas are not alike. One is fresh and sweet to drink, the other is salty and bitter. Yet from each you can obtain fresh meat you eat and ornaments you wear.” — Qur’an 35:12
“When you do things from your soul you feel a river moving in you – a joy!” – Rumi
“I trust Allah, Al-Rahman (The All Compassionate), Al-Rahim (The All Merciful), Al-Wadud (The Loving), Al-Latif (The Subtle), to be my guide.”
Any spiritual path requires your soul to wrestle with your ego, fears and desires. So take inspiration from the experiences of seekers who walked this path before you. You are not alone:
- Guide to dealing with anxiety
- Guide to finding your own path
- Guide to dealing with cultural or religious pressure
3. Gratitude
“Indeed, We have guided him to the way, whether he be grateful or ungrateful.” – Qur’an 76:3
Spirituality without gratitude is like summer without the sunlight. It just does not make sense. Our entire relationship with Allah hinges on our ability to be grateful to Allah. That’s why as humans, gratitude is not only a scientifically proven mood-booster, but an essential ingredient to a fulfilled and happy life – and a fulfilled and happy afterlife.
Gratitude goes hand in hand with humility. It’s as simple as saying ‘thank you’, appreciating the things that make you smile, and making the best out of what you have.
It sounds easy, but in reality, it does take effort, intentional practice and persistence in order to become a life-changing habit. That’s why we have a whole page dedicated to cultivating a healthy Islamic gratitude practice.
“Whoever has not thanked people, has not thanked Allah.” – Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Remember, being grateful doesn’t mean you won’t experience difficult emotions. It is perfectly possible and ok to feel grateful and sad, hurt, frustrated, disappointed and stressed.
In our toughest times, it can be hard to feel grateful. That doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you probably need extra love and support with your mental health, alongside your gratitude practice.
- Explore how to tap into your feelings of gratitude
- Blog: What does “If you are grateful I will give you more,” (Qur’an 14:7) actually mean?
- Blog: Spiritual bypassing: are you in your body?
4. Boundaries
“Nor shall I worship what you worship. Nor will you worship what I worship. For you is your way, and for me is mine.” – Qur’an 109:4-6
Your needs matter
Having strong boundaries can prevent you from being guilted and shamed into doing things in the name of religion, God, or spirituality, that you don’t want to do.
Being spiritual doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to say ‘no’ or have needs. It doesn’t mean being submissive. It doesn’t mean sitting on a cloud all day far above the suffering of the world.
In fact, being spiritual demands boundaries. Because surrendering to nothing but truth means protecting your ability to pursue that truth.
To do this we need to be comfortable saying ‘no’ to what isn’t for us and doesn’t serve us, or our purpose.
Looking after your needs is not selfish
Implementing boundaries is a manifestation of self-love, an essential form of self-care, as well as a safety-net for spiritual growth
Cherishing values like generosity and selflessness, without being deeply rooted in a sense of your own dignity and worth, can make it feel like you’re only supposed to do what other people want, instead of what you want.
Having wants and needs is not wrong – it’s human. And you are not selfish for wanting to be treated with respect, care and consideration. Finding the balance between being generous and being selfish might feel like a grey-area so if you’re struggling check out these two helpful pages to help you figure it out:
Spiritual abuse
Many of us have been shamed at some point for not being a ‘good Muslim’. Or we were taught Islam as a big list of harsh rules and punishments. And some of us have experienced religious manipulation – coerced into doing things we don’t want to do – in the name of religion. All of these things are abuse.
Abuse can make us feel angry with, or very disconnected from, Allah and our spiritual selves. It can cause guilt and low self-esteem, overwhelm, burnout, and toxic relationships with people who exploit our insecurities.
If you can relate to this, with the right support, you can heal from this trauma and reconnect with your spirituality.
5. Sacrifice and patience
“Say: Surely my prayer and my sacrifice and my living and my dying are all for Allah, the Lord of the worlds,” – Qur’an 6:162
Our life is built on transactions. In order to take a new breath in, we must give away one breath out.
Sacrifice is about offering something we love, even though it may be painful, in order to achieve something better. For example:
- To learn, we give up recreation time.
- To grow, we give up comfort.
- To make time, we give up some sleep.
- To share our blessings, we give up luxuries or money.
Every success is built on sacrifice.
The sacrifices we are prepared to make reflect the strength of our values. If we are a slave to our desires, we will find it particularly hard to give up things that bring us comfort and pleasure.
Any spiritual sacrifice is always about realising: everything belongs to Allah. Our sacrifices and patience reflects our faith in Allah’s promise that, although this material life will end, we will carry the fruit of our good deeds into the next life.
Every sacrifice must be your choice
“When his son was old enough to work with him, he said, “My son, I have had a dream that I must sacrifice you. What do you think of this?” He replied, “Father, fulfil whatever you are commanded to do and, God willing, you will find me patient.””— Qur’an 37:102
A sacrifice guided by dignity, self-worth and optimism will probably have a different effect on your emotions than a sacrifice made because of low self-esteem, inferiority, or hopelessness.
You don’t have to give away all your possessions and live alone in a tent to be a spiritual person. In fact, for most people, such extreme levels of sacrifice would not lead to increased feelings of love, serenity and joy, but rather the opposite!
Remember, if we confuse spiritual sacrifice with simply ‘not being allowed to enjoy life’, we can end up in all kinds of negative, punishing, shame cycles which are bad for our mental health.
It might help to think of it a bit like joining a gym. Making sacrifices is how you build your spiritual muscle, but you have to start at your level and progress gradually, or you’ll collapse under the weight and give up.
“Indeed we belong to Allah, and indeed to Him we will return.” – Qur’an 2:156
Exercise: What are you willing to sacrifice?
Reaching new levels of spiritual insight might demand many different types of sacrifices from us. Which of the following are you willing to sacrifice?
- Time – learning, praying, pursuing good causes, listening to others, volunteering for a charity, writing to your representative about issues that matter
- Money – giving in charity, helping out loved ones, investing in knowledge, supporting just causes
- Sleep/rest – staying up late praying, making time to pursue studies, finding time for spiritual pursuits amongst your hectic schedule and commitments, setting your alarm before fajr for extra dhikr and meditation time
- Comfort/familiar things – fasting in Ramadan, physically relocating, seeking new experiences, career-change, giving up luxuries and distractions so you have more time and money to dedicate to a higher purpose, switching to ethical brands
- Relationships/friendships – ditching bad influences, stepping out of abusive situations, honouring your boundaries, accepting when you’re outgrowing your situation
6. Turn belief into action
“Whosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.” — Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
“Be like the flower that gives its fragrance even to the hand that crushes it.” – Imam Ali abi Talib
Our existence is entirely interconnected with everything in our universe. Spirituality gives us a way of treading lightly on this earth and leaving a beautiful imprint on everything we hold and everything we leave behind.
While many spiritual practices teach the art of letting go, we may sometimes need to gently remind ourselves that the aim is not to escape from reality, but become more comfortable with facing it.
You are here to make this world better
Our love for people and planet should motivate us to be powerful changemakers – standing up for rights, fairness and a sustainable future for all of us.
If our spirituality isn’t changing the way we show up in the world and embody our values, it is worth asking: what is really moving my spirit – love or ego?
There are so many ways to make your impact: a kind word, a gentle smile… do your best, and the rest will follow.
“There is none amongst the Muslims who plants a tree or sows a seed, and then a bird, person or animal eats from it, but it is regarded as a charitable gift from him.” — Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
How can you turn faith into action?
You could try connecting what is in your heart with your skills and passions by:
- writing to your government representative about issues you care about in your community
- implementing the things you learn on topics that fascinate you, and share that knowledge with others
- using your skills to mentor someone
- checking in on your neighbours, relatives and those who you think are in extra need of feeling love and connection
- volunteering – for example: helping a neighbour with their shopping, holding a bake-sale for a charity, helping out at a soup kitchen, running a kids sports club, litter-picking on your street…
- express your spirituality through art, movement, music, gardening, or beautifying a community space
- engaging in activism for a cause or community you care about
“It’s ok you’re not Batman – no one is expecting you to save the world by yourself! Just start where you’re at, with whatever you can manage.”
“A few people I know say things like: ‘I’m all about love and light so I can’t get involved.’ But what’s the good in praying etc when you point blank refuse to help people when things are messy? Or don’t put your neck on the line for what’s right in case it comes back on you?”
“I feel like the more I know myself, the more community-spirited I feel. I am way more comfortable with myself, which makes it easier for me to feel safe being connected to others.”
7. Consistency and healthy discipline
“The acts most pleasing to Allah are those which are done continuously, even if they are small.” – Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
We could think of our relationship with our religion, faith and spirituality similar to relationship one might have to the gym, or to study. We might go through phases when we’re super engaged and motivated, and other times when we just can’t be bothered. But progress requires you keep showing up, doing your best and being consistent, even when it starts to get tough.
Remember, it’s marathon not a sprint
Whatever path you are guided to, and however you pursue it – in the end the fruits of your striving will be proportionate to your effort. So keep going, and remember you’re doing this for you, in the cause of Allah. But go at your own manageable pace. You are aiming to push yourself, not to punish yourself.
“In the same way what seems like a lot of exercise to you might look very little to an Olympic athlete, you don’t have to compare your spiritual journey to anyone else.”
Healthy habits to cultivate
Here are some healthy habits you could try adding to, or increasing in, your lifestyle:
- regular du’a (personal prayer)
- praying tahajjud (the night prayer)
- giving regularly to charity if you can
- meditating
- dhikr (remembrance of God)
- journaling about your feelings, or keeping a dream diary
- studying the Qur’an, sunnah or Islamic history
- spending time in nature
- listening to different style Qur’an recitations
- reading or writing poetry / making art
- joining a spiritually focused group – at the mosque, at uni or in the community
- Fasting beyond Ramadan (two days a week is the sunnah)
May Allah guide you
“Allah is the Light of the heavens and the earth. The Parable of His Light is as if there were a Niche and within it a Lamp: the Lamp enclosed in Glass: the glass as it were a brilliant star: Lit from a blessed Tree, an Olive, neither of the east nor of the west, whose oil is well-nigh luminous, though no fire scarce touched it: Light upon Light! Allah guides whom He will to His Light: Allah sets forth metaphors for mankind: and Allah knows all things.” – Qur’an 24:35
Remember, Allah did not leave you without guidance. Your life is filled with personal, tailor-made signs all around you, if you’re paying close enough attention to notice. And don’t forget, the Qur’an is Allah’s gift to you on this journey.
Although your path may include challenges, may it also be filled with light and wonderment, ameen.
- If you’re not sure where to start try taking the spiritual health check
You may also be interested in:
- Take the spiritual health check
- Self-help for better mental health
- Exploring your Muslim identity
- Qur’an and mental health
- Dhikr and meditation