Plenty of scientific studies show us that feeling gratitude is good for our mood and overall wellbeing. Pausing to appreciate the good things in our life can be a simple but powerful act of self-care, and an antidote to feelings of dissatisfaction and hopelessness. This page will help you explore:
- What is gratitude in Islam?
- Why should I be grateful to Allah?
- Why am I struggling to feel grateful?
- Facing up to ingratitude
- Gratitude exercises for your mental health and spiritual wellbeing
1. What is gratitude in Islam?
[Allah says] “If you are grateful, I will give you more.” – Qur’an 14:7
Being grateful means appreciating and enjoying our blessings fully, regardless of the situation you’re in.
Gratitude invites us to witness the present moment, instead of getting lost in the past or the future.
Gratitude can help us find acceptance in situations of loss and heartache.
When we’re always focused on the things we’re missing, we can lose our enjoyment of the things we have.
Gratitude also increases feelings of self-love. We all have hang-ups and insecurities. And we can all be guilty of comparing ourselves to others – that’s normal. The important thing is to recognise what effect this is having on us. Gratitude offers a powerful route to self-acceptance. It reminds us that we each face different challenges and enjoy different blessings, shielding us against envy and the habit of unhealthy comparison.
Gratitude does not mean ‘put up and shut up because other people have it worse’. Equally, wanting a better life for yourself, or having ambitions, is not wrong or ungrateful either.
“I used to think happiness is based on things; like winning the lottery, being good-looking, having a cool job, going on fancy holidays… But some of the most miserable people I know are the ones who look like they have it all.”
“If you always think happiness is around the corner, you’re waiting for it to happen to you, rather than experiencing it now. No one can hand you happiness. Happiness is made up of a hundred little things. You can experience it right now. I wish I’d figured that out sooner.”
Gratitude is not just a feeling, it’s a skill
If you do something regularly enough it becomes a habit. Think about it this way; if you regularly complain about the things you don’t have but long for, this will become your habit. Feelings of incompleteness and dissatisfaction will accompany you in life. After all, If a person is not fully able to appreciate what they have now, how will they be able to appreciate the things they want when they get them?
But if you regularly look for the positives, this will become your habit. Feelings of optimism and contentment will accompany you in life. Your resilience and ability to cope with life’s ups and downs will increase.
Although at a basic level gratitude comes naturally to most of us, it’s still something we can all work on – like any skill, it takes effort and practice.
“If you have depression, you can still enjoy eating an orange. Look for the little moments, they’re right in front of you.”
2. Why should I be grateful to Allah?
“Which of the favours of your Lord will you deny?” – Qur’an 55:16
Gratitude is good manners. But more than that, it’s foundational to any relationship of trust, friendship and loving closeness, including our relationship with God.
Imagine you’re always going out of your way to help someone. But this person never says thank you, and never appreciates your effort. Even worse, they constantly compare you to someone who does things better, and moan about the things that you don’t do for them, even though there are good reasons why you don’t do those things. How would you feel about this person? Is there any point in giving that person even more of your time and effort? No matter what you do, they’re never going to be happy.
How much does this sound like our relationship with Allah? If we’re honest, we might begin to see why Allah says Allah, “will not change a condition of a people until they change what is in themselves,” (Qur’an 13:11).
Gratitude benefits us, not God
Just as Allah increases us in bounty and blessings when we’re grateful, so can Allah remove our blessings when we are ungrateful.
Thankfulness is coded into our nature as a result of our complete and total dependence on Allah. Remember, our gratitude does not benefit God! It benefits us by bringing us close and closer into remembrance of Allah, connecting us more deeply with Divine love and mercy – so that we can become more merciful, loving and content creatures. Gratitude fuels generosity, kindness, gentleness – hallmarks of the people of jannah.
3. Why am I struggling to feel grateful?
“O humankind! What has made you careless concerning your Lord, the Most Generous?” – Qur’an 82:6
If you’re struggling with your mental health, feeling grateful can be easier said than done. If you’re going through the worst time in your life, or struggling to find a reason to get out of bed, having someone tell you to ‘be grateful’ can feel irritating and insensitive. And that’s ok.
“Every action has a reaction. If you’re not being treated well, you’re not going to feel good. It’s just a fact. You didn’t choose it, you don’t want it, and it’s not ok. Your situation sucks, not you. I’d say don’t beat yourself up for having feelings. You’re not a bad person.”
Gratitude is not about dismissing your feelings
Gratitude is about noticing and giving more of your focus and attention to things that inspire positive feelings.
The point is not to fake happiness and suffer in silence, or to ignore injustice. Allah knows what is in your heart. Lying to yourself is a recipe for trouble. But simply be mindful of your attitudes and behaviour so that you can intentionally choose to see the blessings and opportunities strewn across your path as well as the challenges.
Don’t be too hard on yourself
Struggling with your mental health doesn’t mean you are an ungrateful or ‘bad’ person. We can recognise that we have ‘so much to be grateful for’ and still struggle to feel good – it’s nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. In fact, mental health difficulties are usually a sign that there are other, deeper things going on with us that need our attention. That said, the worse you are feeling, the more important it is for you to work on building feelings of gratitude – this will help hugely with your mental and spiritual wellbeing. It might feel difficult, but it is worth the effort. There are some helpful exercises you can try below if you’re struggling.
“The way I see it, without the downs you can’t enjoy the ups. It’s part of life. Took me a long time to accept that, but practising gratitude helped me find that perspective.”
4. Facing up to ingratitude
“And Allah sets forth the example of a society which was safe and at ease, receiving its provision in abundance from all directions. But its people met Allah’s favours with ingratitude, so Allah made them taste the clutches of hunger and fear for their misdeeds.” — Qur’an 16:112
Here is the thing many people forget: gratitude is not only about mindset, but about your actions. Gratitude and spirituality are all about learning to show up in the world as a source of light and goodness. It’s one thing to recognise you have blessings, it’s quite another thing to show your appreciation. It’s always a good idea to check in with yourself about how you are manifesting gratitude and ingratitude.
Gratitude Exercise: How are you showing your appreciation?
Make a list of five things you are grateful for. Think about all the ways you have, or could, show gratitude and ingratitude for those things. For example:
- If you enjoy good health, gratitude might look like eating healthy, but ingratitude might look like abusing your body.
- If you receive a windfall, gratitude might look like giving a portion to charity and spending wisely, but ingratitude might look like being stingy and spending it on things that bring no benefit.
- If your du’a is answered, gratitude might look like increasing your worship and saying thank you to Allah in prayer, but ingratitude might look like telling yourself ‘it’s just a coincidence’, or ‘it was bound to happen anyway’.
- If you enjoy good eyesight, gratitude might include stopping to appreciate the beauty of nature, but ingratitude might look like looking at people’s faults and spreading gossip.
- For more ways to check in on yourself, take the spiritual health check.
5. Three gratitude exercises for your mental health
“With every hardship there is ease.” – Qur’an 94:5
Gratitude Exercise: Five minute list
Grab something to take notes with.
Set a timer for five minutes and use that time to list out everything you’re grateful for – big and small.
Don’t overthink it, just list as many things as you can. For example:
My socks keeping my feet warm, my feet!, the kind stranger who helped me in the supermarket, my eyes, my hands, my phone, my blanket, my imagination, my brain, my smile, my cat, my teeth, my books, my friend’s Netflix password, my breakfast, my ability to read…
- When your five minutes is over, read through your list.
- Take some time to look at each individual item you listed and try imagining how different your life would be if you didn’t have that thing in your life.
- You could keep this list and re-read it when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
- (An alternative is to use prayer beads, if you have any, to count 100 things instead of writing and using a timer).
Gratitude Exercise: Gratitude meditation
- Find a quiet moment. Take a few deep breaths. It might help you to close your eyes. You might like to recite Surah al-Fatiha first if you know it.
- Think of something in your life that brings you joy – even if it’s something really small, like the warm sun on your face, or a time someone made you laugh.
- Keep focusing on it. Let a feeling of gratitude wash over you.
- It’s ok if other negative thoughts start to creep in. Just notice those thoughts and bring your attention calmly back to that feeling of gratitude.
Gratitude Exercise: 3×3 rule
Before bed, or first thing in the morning, write down:
- three things you hope to achieve over the coming day
- three things that happened that day/day before that you are grateful for
Do this consistently every day for at least two weeks, ideally three.
After three weeks, read back over everything you have written.
Take some time to reflect on how this exercise makes you feel and if you enjoyed it, keep going!
You may also be interested in:
- Dhikr and meditation
- Prayer and mental health
- Blog: Solving the gratitude equation Q14:7
- Overcoming anxiety