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My Spiritual Health Check: Time for Self-reflection

“So I swear by the afterglow of sunset; and the night and what it envelops, and by the moon when it is full, you shall certainly travel from stage to stage.” – Qur’an 16:19

We’re all searching for peace and contentment – in fact, the search for jannah (heaven) is within us by design. And it can be frustrating when, despite our best efforts, we don’t seem to be making much progress, or we’re constantly yo-yoing up and down – mentally, physically and spiritually. Let’s take a few moments to figure out how you’re feeling, why you might be feeling like this, and what’s on your path ahead. 

This page will help you explore:

  1. What is spiritual health?
  2. Reflecting on your connection with God/Allah
  3. Polishing the heart
  4. 30 questions to illuminate your spiritual journey
  5. Your next steps

1. What is ‘spiritual health’?

“Righteousness is not that you turn your faces toward the east or the west, but righteousness is one who believes in Allah , the Last Day, the angels, the Book, and the prophets, and gives away wealth, in spite of their love for it, to relatives, orphans, the needy, the traveller, those who ask, and for freeing slaves; to establish prayer and practice regular charity; and who fulfil their promise when they promise; and who are patient in poverty and hardship and during conflict. Those are the ones who have been true, and it is those who are the righteous.” – Qur’an 2:177

Spirituality means many different things to different people. From an Islamic perspective, we are spiritual beings, programmed to seek after Divine love and mercy, placed on this earth to pursue beauty, justice, goodness and light.

Our purpose in this life is to manifest goodness, and Divine qualities, which bring us in harmony with the universe, and closer to the Divine Reality – Allah.

“Islam is not something spoken. Islam melts, as fire melts away the impurities of iron, gold, and silver.” – Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

The more we strive to free ourselves from the illusions of power, greed, materialism, and everything that keeps us distant from realising our true potential for goodness, the closer we get to Allah. And the closer we get, the more our perceptions of life and meaning transform.

Many Muslim, and other, mystics speak of reaching new levels of consciousness, and being shown the secrets of the universe – a gift from Allah for the most dedicated seekers.

Your spiritual path is unique

Just as no two people are the same, no two routes to Allah will be the same. But it is through our trust, perseverance, and patience that we will fulfil our end of the pact humanity has made with God – follow the path Allah has laid out for you, and you will reach jannah, a reality that has many levels, depths and meanings.

A spiritual health check is about understanding where the channels of light are flowing through you most easily, and where they might be blocked. The 30 questions below are designed to help you self-reflect.

2. How is my connection with Allah/God?

“We have not sent down to you the Qur’an to cause you distress, but only as a reminder for those who are reverent.” – Qur’an 20:2-3

The most natural place to start any spiritual health check up, is by checking in with your heart, and exploring its connection with Allah, the One who gave you the breath of life – Al-Hayy, (The Living), Al-Muhyi, (The Source of Life), An-Nur, (The Light).  

Exercise 1: How does ‘Allah’ make me feel?

Does the mention of God/Allah fill your heart with any of these emotions:

peace, dread, guilt, relief, hope, doubt, strength, confusion, clarity, doubt, anger, power, helplessness, significance, insignificance, curiosity, frustration, energy, love, friendship, hostility, or a mixture of these? Or none of these? 

  • How intense, or subtle, are these feelings?
  • Do any of these feelings feel good?
  • Do any of these feelings feel negative?
  • Were any of the feelings you came up with surprising?
  • Are there any feelings you want to change – and if so, why?

This isn’t about right or wrong – but observing what is true for you at the moment. And try not to compare yourself to others. Just focus on you, and your feelings.  

The Prophet (pbuh) said, “Allah (the Most High) said, ‘I am as My servant thinks I am.’” 

“We all know those people who love telling you this and that about Islam and what you should be doing… blah blah blah. Talking the talk is easy. Walking the walk is hard. Set your intentions, keep it private. Feel your way, and don’t let judgey people put you off!”  

“The word I would use is journey. I’ve had ups and downs but I was never prepared to let go of Allah, and Allah was never prepared to let go of me.”

“I can honestly say my faith and connection to Allah has been most affected by other Muslims not behaving well. And from negative things I’ve read and heard about Islam and the Qur’an. I can’t say it’s been simple but, long story short, I learnt that when you let go and throw everything out the window you can sometimes make a space for God that you didn’t know was possible – or necessary!”

Exercise 2: Describe your relationship with your God

  • What role do you each play?
  • How often do you speak?
  • When in your life does this relationship feel important?
  • When in your life does this relationship not feel important?
  • Has this relationship evolved over time? 
  • If you could change something about this relationship what would it be? And why?

This isn’t about right or wrong – but observing what is true for you at the moment. And try not to compare yourself to others. Just focus on you, and your feelings.  

3. Polishing the heart

“For everything there is a polish and the polish for the heart is the remembrance of Allah” — Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) 

The heart is like a mirror and Allah is Light.

Often, our feelings about Allah reflect the way we feel about ourselves – and all mirrors need polishing from time to time.

If you want to build a healthier, more beautiful relationship with Allah, there’s no avoiding the fact that you’re going to have to start building an even better relationship with yourself.

Let light in

Your relationship with yourself can be improved – no matter who you are – and so can your relationship with Allah. 

“I was obsessively observing religious ‘rules’ to the tiniest detail. I had the purest intentions, so why wasn’t I happy? I was doing everything ‘right’. And if you’re doing all this good stuff, but it’s not making you feel at peace, how do you deal with that? It messes with you… Subhanallah I figured out I was using faith to mask my insecurities, instead of to heal them. I was so anxious to make God love me, I wasn’t giving God credit for already loving me. When I started believing I was worthy of love, the game changed. Love fuels devotion, not the other way around. Fear harms. Love heals.” 

“If I prayed I would feel nothing. Not in a bad way, just found it meh. I wasn’t focused on religion at all, I didn’t have a deep interest. But the more I levelled up in terms of figuring out my issues, I suddenly reached a point where God and finding a more meaningful life became relevant to me. I only connected with God meaningfully, when I connected deeper to myself. Then stuff like praying kinda clicked into place like second nature, no fuss. I don’t believe you can force these things, just keep searching with an open mind.”

Remember, it’s normal to have ups and downs with your faith and spiritual/religious practices. Spiritual highs can be very high, and the lows very low – you’re not crazy for experiencing both.

4. 30 Questions to illuminate your journey

“My mercy embraces all things” — Qur’an 7:156

So how can we move from darkness into light, polishing our hearts and welcoming Allah’s Light into every aspect of our lives? The 30 questions below can help you figure it out. Be honest with yourself, and take as long as you need to answer them: 

  1. How would I describe my behaviour and attitude towards people I care about? How do I demonstrate this by my thoughts, speech and actions?
  2. How would I describe my behaviour and attitude towards strangers? How do I demonstrate this by my thoughts, speech and actions?
  3. How do I tend to show people I love them? How often, and how sincerely do I do this?
  4. How much of my speech is truthful and kind?
  5. How often do I try to make people laugh, feel joy?
  6. How well do I listen to people I disagree with? When is my patience exhausted, and what happens?
  7. Do I make people feel safe or unsafe? Who, when and how?
  8. How much do I rely on others for support? What motivates this behaviour deep down? How do I feel about being looked after versus looking after others?

What are my priorities in life?

  1. How well do I look after myself?
  2. How much do I think about money? How much do I talk about money? How much of my life is focused on money and why is this? If I won a million dollars what is the first thing I would do with it? If I lost all my money how would I cope?
  3. How often do I give to charity? How much do I give? If I had to give away 20% of my disposable wealth to a good cause immediately, how would I feel about that? (Am I willing to try, and find out?!).
  4. How often do I thank Allah for the good things in my life? And how do I do this? Do I thank people often and why?
  5. How often do I complain about my life? What do I complain most about and why? Who do I tend complain to and why?
  6. Do I usually tend to look on the bright side, or imagine the worst-case scenario?
  7. How often do I judge other people’s: looks, speech, actions, beliefs, politics or circumstances? What am I most critical about and why?
  8. How often do I upset people?
  9. How easily do I say sorry? How does apologising make me feel? How often to I ask for God’s forgiveness?
  10. How do I react when I am insulted? When have I felt most insulted in my life and why?
  11. How often do I get upset? What types of words and actions upset me most?
  12. How many grudges am I holding on to? How do these affect my behaviour? How often do I think about/plan revenge?
  13. How often do I accept apologies? How easily can I let go?
  14. How often do I make assumptions (whether positive or negative) about what people think of me without them telling me? Do I often assume people are hostile/jealous/out to get me? Do I often assume people think I am amazing/charming/wonderful?
  15. Do I tend to look down on people? Do I agree with the statement: most people are boring, not as intelligent as me, or of no interest to me? Do tend to see myself as extraordinary and special, or worthy of extra-special treatment?
  16. How strongly do I feel the need to share intimate details about my life with others? How often to do I find myself seeking attention, praise or admiration? How often do I find myself seeking sympathy, support and pity?
  17. How often are my intentions and actions specifically (and exclusively) aimed and bringing me closer to Allah? How often are my intentions motivated by looking good or being praised by people?
  18. What proportion of my time do I spend pursuing productivity, meaning and purpose (making the world around me better), compared to how much of my time pursuing pleasure, comfort and fun (making my individual circumstances better)?
  19. How often do I do things, or say ‘yes’ to things I actually don’t want to say yes to? Do I honour my rights, dignity and integrity in every situation?
  20. How often do I speak up for myself, or for other people, against what I believe to be wrong? How much do I fear the consequences of speaking my truth? What is the consequence that worries me the most and why?
  21. Who or what am I most afraid of? Why is this? How often does this fear interfere with my trust in Allah?
  22. If I met myself, what would I admire about myself? What would bother me? Why?

Analysing your answers

Some of these questions may have made you feel uncomfortable, guilty, or defensive. Perhaps some of these questions annoyed or triggered anger in you. Hopefully some made you feel good about yourself too. But the point of these questions is not to make yourself feel anything in particular, but to help you really see yourself as you are, and bring your awareness to the areas of your spiritual life that might benefit from your attention. 

What are the ideal answers to these questions? Where will you turn for answers? This journey of discovery is in your hands. Chances are you have a gut feeling – something that caught your attention, so start there.

You can keep coming back to these questions, whenever you’re ready, and notice which of your answers change, and which stay the same. 

5. Your next steps

“If people look at your conduct and do not aspire to Islam, review your faith.” – Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

The next steps you must take will look different for everyone. Pick the question that you found the least comfortable to answer as the next focus of your spiritual journey.

  • Try setting an intention to work on this side of your spiritual life.
  • What small thing(s) do you need to do/change/understand/learn in order to make your answer to that question feel a little bit more comfortable? 
  • Try making some notes so you can refer back to them and hold yourself accountable.
  • Take a look at the navigation bar on this website – are there any page topics that seem like they might help you with this? Keep exploring this site for tips and advice that might help.

Pray, listen to your heart, and take it one small, manageable step at a time.

Make your goal ihsan

“Doing what is beautiful (ihsan) means that you should worship God as if you see Him, for even if you do not see Him, He sees you.” – Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

Ihsan means striving for excellence – doing what is most beautiful and doing it beautifully, whatever you do. So whatever and however you choose to boost your spiritual health, striving for ihsan – ‘goodness’ or ‘excellence’ is the goal.

This doesn’t mean having the answers, or even getting it right, but it does mean making a sincere effort to dress your actions with love, humility, kindness and truth.

Remember, your best is good enough.  

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “No one will enter Paradise who has an atom’s-weight of pride in his heart.” A man said, “What if a man likes his clothes to look good and his shoes to look good?” He said, “Allah is beautiful and loves beauty. Pride means denying the truth and looking down on people.”

“The servant does not attain the reality of faith until he loves for people what he loves for himself of goodness.” — Prophet Muhammad

Wherever you are in your spiritual journey, may you move ever closer to the loving mercy of The One who gave you life, The Living, The Eternal, The Absolute Reality. And May Allah perfect our light for us and forgive us – Allah is truly powerful over all things, ameen.

O Allah, send peace and blessings upon Muhammad and upon the family of Muhammad.

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