If you’re a Muslim going through a tough time, it’s important to get the help you need. Therapy can offer you a useful, dedicated space to talk about your thoughts, feelings, behaviours and experiences with someone trained to help you to better understand yourself.
- Why choose therapy?
- Do I need therapy?
- Do I need a Muslim therapist?
- What if I don’t like my therapist?
- How to find a Muslim therapist in the UK
1. Why choose therapy?
Sometimes we just need a space to speak and be listened to. Having someone hear us, witness our pain and validate our emotions can be very healing.
Therapy means working with someone qualified in how the mind works, to improve your mental wellbeing and ability to cope with life’s challenges. It offers a dedicated time and space to process your feelings, and challenge your thoughts and behaviours, in a way you might struggle to do by yourself.
Therapy is about you investing in you, your life and your future.
2. Do I need therapy?
Therapy can be particularly helpful if you notice negative/unhelpful patterns in your life or relationships that keep occurring that you want to change. Or it can help if you have gone through something very difficult like a physical assault, or bereavement.
You might want to try therapy if you’re struggling with difficult emotions or worrying thoughts – this could include depression, compulsive thoughts, phobias, anxiety, hopelessness, emotional numbness or suicidal feelings.
Or, you might just generally feel that life could just be better, even if you’re not sure how or why, and that’s a perfectly good enough reason to get therapy too! You don’t need to justify your decision to anyone.
It is worth noting that if you’re looking to change your life and outlook, traditional talking therapy is only one piece of the puzzle when it comes to looking after your mental health. While some experiences of therapy will be incredible, not every experience of therapy is going to be one hundred percent positive or lifechanging – and that’s ok. Every journey has its ups and downs, and what works for you, might not work for someone else, and vice versa. The key is to be open-minded and take your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual needs seriously.
Do I need a Muslim therapist?
If you’re struggling it’s always a good idea to get help, and it is important to think carefully about what you would like to get out of your therapy experience.
- Are you looking to talk about experiences very closely tied to your faith or culture?
- Is it important to you to get advice from within an Islamic framework?
- Do you just want someone to listen to you and help you feel seen and validated?
- Have you got specific goals and objectives, or would you like someone to help you figure some out?
- Is there a specific issues you’re struggling with, or is life feeling difficult generally?
- What do you perceive to be the positives and negatives of having a Muslim therapist?
Remember, the role of a therapist is not to judge you.
Be honest with yourself about what you want
You don’t need to try to convince yourself to ‘be open-minded’ when you have very strong instinct about what you want and need, or what you don’t want and need. You’re allowed to trust your judgment. This is a decision you are making for you, and not for anyone else. Your feelings might change over time, and that’s ok too.
Speaking with someone who understands your background, or is open to your values and God-consciousness, is likely to change your therapy experience and may help you to let your guard down.
Whoever your therapist is, it is very important you feel comfortable being open and honest with them in order to get the most out of your therapy session.
Therapy is about you and your needs
“In all honesty, speaking to a non-Muslim just wasn’t for me. I can’t explain why it’s such a big deal. Speaking to someone who was like me, and had been in my shoes made so much difference. It was like breathing fresh air – not being judged, not having to explain, just connecting. We all need a space where we can be ourselves so openly.”
“What actually helped was having someone from my faith challenge certain beliefs I held which I thought were coming from a morality/religion/Islamic place, but were actually just coping mechanisms. I thought I was such a great person because I let people walk all over me and I was ‘being a good Muslim’ but I needed another Muslim to say hold on, why are you hiding behind God here?”
“Trust is so important when someone’s dealing with your most personal stuff. I feel like when you trust and respect your therapist it’s a gamechanger. Safety is key.”
No two experiences are the same
“If I’m getting advice from someone who doesn’t believe, it’s extra important for me to analyse what they say from an Islamic perspective. I always pray for help, clarity and guidance. Prayer is my lifeline and puts my heart at ease. I pray Allah will always unravel illusion to expose the truth to me, so that I can navigate my mental health struggles, spiritual struggles and general life struggles, in a balanced, blessed way.”
“I think what helped me was to manage my expectations – I’m not going there specifically for ‘religious advice’, I’m going there for a perspective shift, and wisdom and insight comes from all different places. I didn’t feel like it had to be a Muslim therapist. I take inspiration and ideas from anywhere.”
“I sometimes feel a bit gaslighted by people (non-Muslims and mental health websites) telling me how wonderful therapy is. I try to think of it in the reverse – would a non-Muslim pay for advice from an Islamic perspective that they don’t respect or believe? No. But I’m supposed to pay for someone to tell me about how to find meaning in life, who doesn’t actually know the meaning of life? I feel like it’s ok to know who you are and what you want – that’s not about being picky just honest.”
3. What if I don’t like my therapist?
No two people are guaranteed to hit it off. That’s why some therapists offer a discount intro session for you to see if you like each other. Finding the right therapist for you might feel a bit like dating. You can book sessions with a few different therapists before making your decision. Although it’s important to remember that building trust and rapport can take time, so think about what is most important to you when you are doing your research.
You might not gel with your therapist and that’s ok – you don’t have to stick with the same person. It’s important to find someone who you feel comfortable with.
“I had sessions with three different people. There was one who just felt easier to talk to. I don’t exactly know why to be honest. I just went with my gut and stuck with her.”
“I had a therapist who definitely didn’t get where I was coming from at all. I think she found it hard to mask her dislike of Islam (or the concept of God generally) even though she tried her best to seem open-minded. And it felt quite overwhelming to have to try to explain and understand what my boundaries are, and why I have them. It felt like ultimately she treated my faith as part of my mental illness. My advice would be, don’t feel like you need to stick at something that isn’t working for you. It might take work finding someone suitable but it’s better than wasting your time pretending. When it works for you, you’ll feel it.”
4. How to find a Muslim therapist in the UK
You can look for a Muslim counsellor or psychotherapist in the UK on the MCAPN directory.
MCAPN also have some important tips to consider when selecting a therapist.
Always check your therapist is qualified. This directory lists .
“Talking about what I’m going through is so crucial for me – but when I reflect on it, some of the most powerful conversations in my life have been pretty random. And I’ve had some of the biggest eureka moments reading self-help books or listening to podcasts, and sometimes during prayer or meditation. So yes, therapy can be lifechanging, but I don’t buy into the idea that traditional Western-style psychotherapy is the only way to go and that without it you’re doomed.”
“I think there’s a lot of pressure to buy into all these different wellness lifestyles – it’s a massive industry – everyone is selling you inner-peace these days. Trust yourself, trust Allah to guide you to what’s best, and maybe your ‘therapy’ is right in front of you, but it’s just not in the format you thought it would be.”
“I couldn’t access therapy but I followed some online therapists and learnt A LOT. I made a lot of breakthroughs this way and I genuinely recommend looking into psychology stuff yourself if you’re on a waiting list, or not able to access therapy. You might be surprised how much progress you can make if you’re willing to challenge yourself and hold yourself accountable. Not everything you read online will be true, but stick to content from qualified experts and you’ll learn a lot!”