“Allah does not task any soul more than it can bear. All good will be for its own benefit, and all evil will be to its own loss.” — Qur’an 2.286
It’s normal to have questions about how and why we experience this life in the way that we do:
- Why did this bad thing happen to me?
- Why do innocent children suffer?
- Why did no one protect me from abuse?
- Why do bad people always seem to get away with it?
- Why do good people experience tragedy?
When we start struggling with these types of questions, it can really start to affect our mental health. Especially when we watch the news and it feels like the world is falling apart. Or when we’re trying our absolute best to be a good person and hold things together, but we still find it difficult to cope with life’s challenges.
It can be confusing or frustrating when you’re going through a terrible time and people say things like, “just be patient,” or, “just pray,” as though you’re not a good person already. Or even worse, “maybe God is punishing you.” This can make us feel like switching off from our faith and spirituality, which can lead to feelings of bitterness and despair.
If you are struggling to come to terms with suffering you have experienced – that’s normal. It can be healthy and helpful for you to look for answers to put your heart at peace.
“With every hardship there is ease.” — Qur’an 94:5
Putting things into perspective
How we understand suffering can be defined by the perspective faith, (or lack of faith), gives us.
If we look at the life of our Prophet (pbuh), we witness the life of a man whose story is filled with an incredible amount of tragedy and hardship. When we remember that he was an orphan, who lost his grandfather very young, then his uncle, his beloved wife Khadija, buried five of his six children, and throughout his prophethood faced immense persecution, poverty, ridicule, and betrayal – we start to realise that even the best among us will encounter heartache in this world.
In times of pain and sorrow, it is often faith that can pull us through.
While it is impossible to summarise the overwhelmingly vast amount written about suffering in the Islamic tradition, (and lots of thinkers disagree), here are some key themes to reflect on that can help us find perspective.
- Knowing things by their opposites
- Free will and natural law
- The primordial covenant
- Life’s trials and tests
- The role of patience and gratitude
- Playing your part as God’s regent on earth
- Divine judgment and ultimate justice
- The story of Musa (pbuh) and Al-Khidr
1. We know things by their opposites
“Indeed, in the creation of the heavens and the earth and the alternation of the night and the day are signs for those of understanding.” — Qur’an 3:190
The meaning we give life often revolves around how we understand ourselves in relationship to the things around us. And we tend to get to know things by their opposites:
- Without darkness we cannot understand light.
- Without evil, we cannot understand good.
- Without suffering, we cannot understand joy.
- Without fear, we cannot understand safety.
And so it goes on.
“And of everything We have created pairs, that you may remember.” — Qur’an 51:49
Your pain is telling you something
Suffering is an important piece of life’s puzzle. When we’re struggling with our mental health and we’re not sure why, often, our pain and discomfort are messengers. They’re here to tell us something – and that’s a good thing.
By making an effort to understand our emotions better, we can learn more about what we need and what actions we must take to bring about the necessary change our pain is calling for – whether it’s mental, physical, or spiritual.
But figuring out how to heal our pain can be difficult to do on our own, which is why talking to friends, and if you can, finding a counsellor or therapist can be so helpful.
2. Free will and natural law
“And say, “The truth is from your Lord, so whoever wills – let him believe; and whoever wills – let him disbelieve.”” – Qur’an 18:29
The universe runs in accordance with the laws of creation:
- Every ray of light travels at the same speed.
- Gravity always pulls you back down.
- If you don’t eat, eventually you will feel hungry.
- If you’re born, you will die…
The law of causation tells us every action has a reaction:
- If you drop a glass it will smash.
- If you drive a petrol car you will pollute the air.
- If you exercise you will get fitter…
Our free will means we are free to exploit the natural laws of creation for good, or for evil. The world has been set up so that we can make decisions in accordance with our purpose and desires. Suffering is a necessary (but not always justified) consequence of our freedom to choose. Without freedom, concepts of accountability, judgement, good and evil, or heaven and hell, do not make much sense.
3. The primordial covenant
“And remember when your Lord took from the children of Adam – from their loins – their descendants and made them testify concerning themselves: “Am I not your Lord?” They said, “Yes, we have testified,” Lest you should say on the Day of Resurrection, “Indeed, we were unaware.”” – Qur’an 7:172
Often discussions about suffering, free will, and good and evil, refer to a ‘primordial covenant.’ In a time and space where we existed before living in this earthly life, we are said to have witnessed Allah’s sovereignty over all things, and as a result we made a pact to worship Allah alone.
People debate whether this is meant literally or metaphorically, but many believe it demonstrates the existence of our ‘moral conscience’, or fitrah (innate nature) that yearns for goodness, and for God. It is also this pact that makes us morally accountable for our actions.
Jannah awaits
“Indeed, we offered the Trust to the heavens and the earth and the mountains, and they declined to bear it and feared it; but man took it. Indeed, he was unjust and ignorant.” – Qur’an 33:72
Some people say that our ‘primordial covenant’ is why we human beings suffer from a persistent sense of dissatisfaction and incompleteness – because we are constantly longing for our return to a state we once knew. A state of peace in Allah’s loving presence – before we knew evil, shame and deception. Even though we might try to ease our longing with worldly pleasures, ultimately we are all seeking Jannah – a place free from suffering.
4. Life’s trials and tests
“Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tested?” — Qur’an 29:2
Allah addresses many different examples of suffering in the Qur’an – separation, loss, natural disasters, spiritual regret, guilt, suspicion, conflict, etc. Often (but not always) these difficulties are described as ‘tests’ through which we manifest our true nature.
“And We test you through goodness and evil, and you will [finally] return to Us.” — Qur’an 21:35
But it’s important to reflect on the fact that things we typically think of as good things, or blessings, can also be trials too; like wealth, children, status, power, fame, beauty etc. Whether we are given hardship or ease, it is clear that it’s not what we go through that defines us, but how we get through it.
And, remember, whatever you’re going through, you don’t have to go through it alone.
5. The role of patience and gratitude
“…And whosoever fears Allah…He will make a way for him a way out [from every difficulty]. And He will provide him from [sources] he never could imagine.” — Qur’an 65:2-3
Patience and gratitude really beautiful virtues; but unfortunately, they are also concepts that have been widely misused in ways that can sabotage our mental health, or prevent us from getting help.
When people say things like, “stop complaining, just have patience,” it can make us feel like our feelings are wrong or sinful, or that we should just put up with a difficult or unjust situation. But remember, there is no virtue in simply being in pain or letting injustice triumph. So don’t let anyone make you feel like a bad person for reaching out for help, or stop you speaking up for yourself if you’re not being treated properly.
Patience is about holding on to your values and faith, even when times are tough.
Patience involves maintaining a state of mind that refuses to give in to despair, because you trust in Allah’s ultimate mercy, meaning you believe things can get better. Patience is possible when we hold fast to the belief that if we abide by our side of our covenant, Allah will abide by Allah’s – no soul will be wronged in the end.
Gratitude is about how we adopt proper manners towards Allah; witnessing that along with our share of hardships, we also experience ease and goodness. Often, when we’re struggling with our mental health, we can find just as many, if not more, instances of beauty, blessings and ease, than instances of hardship and difficulty – but it can take a little extra effort to notice them.
A way to find your unique purpose
Through patience and gratitude we can see that even our hardships can teach us something about the world, Allah and our life’s purpose and mission. We have a choice to make about whether we turn our worst experiences into a vehicle for drawing closer to Allah, or a cause for our hearts to harden and turn away from Allah.
This is absolutely not the same as seeing a problem and doing nothing, just hoping and praying your problems go away, or being ok with injustice. Patience and gratitude go hand in hand with perseverance – making your best effort to change things.
And remember, your best is always good enough.
- Read more about a healthy approach to gratitude and mental health
- Guide to finding your personal purpose and mission
6. Playing your part as God’s Regent on earth
“Whosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart [in prayer]…” — Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)
Part of being a moral human being, and building an ethical society, is about doing everything in our power to prevent harmful, unjust and abusive situations from occurring; and ensuring that if they do, the wronged person can swiftly and easily access justice, and the support they need.
That’s why, when we get overwhelmed by the amount of suffering in the world, or in our life, it is important to take action.
We can always play a role in making things better.
“Whoever does an atom’s weight of good will see it.” — (Qur’an 99:8)
We might not be able to fix everything, but knowing that we are doing our bit, no matter how small, can be very powerful for our mental health, and stop us feeling overwhelmed and disempowered. None of our actions are insignificant to Allah, and it takes each and every one of us to play our part in building the world we want to live in.
As the saying goes: in times of trouble, always look for the helpers. You will always find people helping. If you look for the helpers, you’ll know that there’s hope.
7. Divine judgement and ultimate justice
The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said, “Allah said: I have prepared for My righteous servants what no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human heart has conceived. Recite the verse if you wish: ‘No soul knows what has been hidden for them of comfort.’” (Qur’an — 32:17)
The equation of suffering in this life would look very different if death were simply the end of life. Belief in Divine judgement means that every moment of suffering you handled with goodness and God-consciousness will more than be made up for.
The dishing out of Divine punishment and reward is according to a calculation that we cannot fathom, but we are reassured that not a single soul will be wronged by even an atom’s weight.
“The day (that) everyone will come disputing on his own behalf; and everyone will be rewarded in full (for) what they have done, and they will not be dealt with unjustly.” — Qur’an 16:111
“And it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” — Qur’an 2:216
Allah makes it clear that we’re not qualified to judge whether someone is being tested or punished.
8. The story of Prophet Musa (pbuh) and Al-Khidr
Our perception of good and evil, and blessing or curse, is often wildly inaccurate.
The story of Prophet Musa (pbuh) and “al-Khidr” famously turns our ability to trust in our own personal judgement upside down. It shows, our perception is not always true, which is why it is so important to speak to people we trust about our problems to find new perspectives and remind ourselves we are in Allah’s Divine mercy, therefore we are never alone.
The full story from the Qur’an, Surah al-Kahf
Musa said to him, “Can I follow you so that you may teach me some of the guidance that you have been taught?” (67) He said, “You will not be able to have patience with me (68) And how could you have patience with that which your knowledge does not encompass?” (69) He said, “You will find me, if Allah so wills, patient. And I will not disobey you in any command.” (70) He said, “Then, if you follow me, do not ask me about anything until I first make mention of it to you” (71)
So, they set out until they boarded a ship. He damaged it. He said, “Have you damaged it to drown its people? You have brought a grievous thing.” (72) He said, “Did I not say that you would not be able to have patience with me?” (73) He said, “Do not take me to task because I forgot. Nor, deal harshly with me in my affair.” (74)
And they set out until they met a boy. He killed him. He said, “Have you killed a pure soul for other than another soul? You have surely brought an evil thing.” (75) He said, “Did I not say that you would not be able to have patience with me?” (76) He said, “If I ask you about anything hereafter, do not keep my company. You have obtained from me an excuse.” (77)
So, they set out until they came to the people of a town. They sought sustenance from its people. But they refused to treat them hospitably. And they found in it a wall that wanted to fall over. He repaired it. He said, “If you wish, you may ask a reward for it.” (78)
He said, “This is the parting between you and I. I will inform you of the interpretation of that with which you could not have patience. (79) As for the ship, it belonged to some poor people who work in the ocean. So, I wanted to damage it. And behind them was a king who was seizing every ship by force. (80)
As for the boy, his parents were believers. But we feared that he would oppress them out of rebellion and disbelief. (81) So, we wanted that their Lord should replace him with a purer son and one closer to mercy. (82)
As for the wall, it belonged to two orphaned boys in the city. And below it was a treasure that belonged to them both. And their father was a pious person. So, your Lord willed that they should reach adulthood and take out their treasure – a mercy from your Lord.
And I did not do it of my own accord. That is the interpretation of that with which you could not have patience.”